Yeah, I wanted to write about this, (Christian dating) cause I’m just tired enough to have an idea get stuck on endless loop in my brain, and this was the idea today. But I know my little sister reads my other blog, so this post ended up where none of my family knows I write. Anyhow…
I realized again this week that quite a number of people, even within the church, date for, *cough* other reasons. (I think I see a large red sigh that reads ENTERTAINMENT somewhere around here.) I was talking to a Christian friend who will remain nameless, and she was talking about making out, with her long history of boyfriends. And it is not that she is a “bad girl.” On the contrary she’s heavily involved in the church, and is the person that people will call if they need a responsible, dependable person to plan and/or run an event. It’s not that she’s hypocritical either, saying that she’s saving herself and then sucking the lips off of every boy within 60 miles. (that title goes to the Pastor’s daughter, in fact.) Everyone but her parents knows that she “hangs out” in the back seats of cars with her *cough* friends, and no one has any issue with it, because it’s COMPLETELY NORMAL.
It really seems like the only difference between “Christian dating” and “dating” in my area is that the Christian kind doesn’t involve alcohol or actual sex. You “sleep around” just as much with your relationships, sometimes involving actually sleeping in the same bed, but you just don’t technically give away your virginity until you’re married.
I really don’t like that. For one thing; it means that any guy from my area would expect something physical from me- if I was to find anyone decent from my area- including the “strong Christian guys.”
*beats head against wall*
For another thing; WHY????????? Why is this normal? How can you pick up with a guy because you’re bored, and then wonder why you feel insecure about committing to anything? Why? Why do you throw yourself into the emotional tangles, just to fill the time?
*deep breath* Okay, I was feeling mad at the world for a moment. I’m better now.
On the other hand, this explains why up until 8 months ago I was feeling rather insecure about never having had a romantic relationship of any kind, and I was 19. I did not manufacture this seeming deficiency in my personal history from thin air, I was going with what I had observed from the corners of my brain. EVERYONE has a boyfriend. Or they’re getting one. Or they’re coming off one. If you don’t date, you must be weird, or ugly, or scary, or have something intrinsically wrong with you. And I bought in to this. Not in the conscious portion of my mind, but in the back of the brain, the part that wants to be normal, I definitely had that little gem sitting there to taunt me.
Now, however, I have met other people who actually agree with me! And they’re smart, attractive, pretty people who agree with me. 😀 What a lovely thing. So I can listen to the stories with a astonished smile, and try to maybe ease people out of that rut, and wait for someone I can see myself marrying to come along. It is a marvellous thing to know that you are really not alone in wanting to wait, and that other people also think that waiting involves more thought and care than just abstaining from the “deed of darkness.” 😛