Dinner at the Welshes
Jennifer: "When we were married he wore a size 26 pants."
Byron: "I used to pray to be fat. I used to pray."
Jennifer: "Then when we were married he wore a size 28 tuxedo, then so he was crawling upwards.
Byron: "And look at me now! My prayers were answered!"
Jennifer, talking about her husband as if he was one of her children. "My oldest is right ornery. He’s a real handful."
Byron: "I’ll thank you to say that later upstairs."
Byron: "I can’t believe you and Stevie aren’t doing something special for Valentine’s day!"
Dean: "Well, with us, you know, every day is."
Byron: "We’re snowmobiling out to Gander, going to Jungle Jim’s. "
Dean: "You know, that really just doesn’t sound exciting."
Byron: "Stop in the woods on the way out…"
Dean: "It’s twenty below…"
Bryon: "I got up there in front of the class and said, "If you’re ever going to die of boredom, it’s going to be during this presentation." I got an A."
Bryon: "I went up to the professor and said "I’m Byron Welsh, and this is my sidekick Jenny." He said, "Oh, I thought you two were brother and sister." I said "No, we’re married." He started getting all happy. "We were getting all concerned for you two!" And they were around cheering, "Byron’s got a wife! Byron’s got a wife!""
Dean: (talking about homeschooling) "-basically all the public system is good at is killing the desire for learning."
Jennifer: "Yeah, after homework, and dishes, and hockey, there isn’t any desire for anything left here after nine o-clock."
Bryon: "I try to kick-start her after nine."
Dean: "You’re supposed to be teaching your children morals and ethics anyways, so what’s so hard about math?"
Bryon: "I dunno, we get home after work, and we look at the homework, and it’s like morals, math, morals, math- we can only manage one! And then you’re talking about another one, an "e" word…"
Jennifer: (talking about gaining weight when your child is in the hospital.) "You know how it is at the Janeway. Somedays you snack away the stress and live on tim hortons’, somedays you forget to eat until three o-clock."
Byron: "And some days a six-pack enema wouldn’t help."
Jennifer: "You see how he interrupts me? Can you please take him home, and put him in your basement?"
Byron: "She only stays with my for my body. I’m in shape. Round is a good shape."
Bryron: "You hear Dr. Price went on a diet, and he lost twenty pounds, and kept all the same clothes?"
Jennifer: "He comes in with his pants hanging off himself and his shirt missbuttoned and he has the nerve to look at me after I’ve been sleeping on the end of Jenna’s bed and say "You look very awful." I mean, do you own a mirror, man?"
Byron: ‘You know the square piece of glass on the wall? You look in it. And then you comb your hair. If you own a comb."
Dean: "You know you’ve been at the Janeway a long time when you come out of the room, and one of the nurses comes up to you and goes. "You’re going to shower today, right?""
Stevie: "Dean learned to iron in the military, so he has a bit of a higher standard than I do."
Bryon: "You iron, man?"
Jennifer: (aside) "He does all the ironing. I don’t know which end of an iron to use."
Dean: "I can put a massive crease in anything."
Jennifer: "I lay out all of Jenna’s clothes for church, and matching tights, and nice shoes- she has better shoes than me- and buckles in her hair, cause her hair is long enough now for buckles, and Byron lays out all the clothes for the boys, and then- five minutes before we’re due to leave I go to the closet and grab the first outfit that doesn’t need ironing. We make a pretty family picture."
Jennifer: (talking about one of the doctors, who is always well put together.) "One thing I’m always well put together with is lingerie. I always match, and it all fits well. I dare Lynette to have better lingerie than me on any given day."
Byron: "Okay, I’ll judge."