Samuel: I was suggesting you get your characters drunk, drugged and nekkid, not you personally.
Samuel: that would be REALLY hard to control
Peter: (talking about an online game) "He sent me a messages saying, "When you get out of beginner’s protection I am going to come over there and eat you." I sent back one saying, "You bad boy, I’m going to cover myself in chocolate just for you." He stopped logging in."
Jasmine: But you’d be NICE and TRUSTWORTHY when dealing with a HELPLESS little GIRL, right?
Samuel: were you helpless, of course
Samuel: I have yet to meet a helpless one
Samuel: you’re mostly just more harm than you look
Jasmine: well, I don’t flirt (IRL), and I have no muscles
Jasmine: and really bad aim
Jasmine: harmless, see?
Samuel: so basically, you’re Ken
Samuel: which means, you’re basically a walking psychological weapon
Jasmine: I neeed to
Jasmine: TORTURE SOMEONE
Zack: torture me
Jasmine: What are you on, love?
Stephanie: i am on my bed, of course
Stephanie: waiting for you
Jasmine: But I thought you didn’t want sexual harrassment!
Stephanie: its not harassment if it’s consensual, you goof
Stephanie: "You deserve the best of sinks."
David: "strike me down and I will become more quotable than you can possibly imagine"
Mommy: "Your brother claimed to have made me tea, but it appears to have not made it to the table. *looks around* He even brought the milk, but no tea. *pauses* FAIL."
Victor: "The fire’s out. Oh, and we’re out of firestarter. I wish we had some- wait, wine is flammable, right?"
Jasmine: "NO! We are not starting a fire with wine!"
Jasmine: "While we’re gone, Victor, could you please wash the dishes?"
Victor: "What, by myself?"
Jasmine and Courtney: "Yes."
Victor: "Why can’t Bonny help?"
Jasmine and Courtney: "Bonny made lunch today."
Victor: "I made lunch a couple of days ago, and I still had to wash the dishes!"
Jasmine: "I once mopped the entire house and I still had to wash the dishes."
Victor: "Not by yourself, by hand."
Jasmine: "Yes, by myself, by hand, with water I heated myself on the wood stove. Do not sob story me, little boy, I will top you!"
Mommy: "You can travel with a guy! Just don’t, sleep together, in the same bed. Use separate sleeping bags or something."
Daddy: (talking about Obama’s campagien) "It’s like they’ve been given a shiny new toy. Oh, look at us, we have the White House!"
Talking about birth order influencing character
Jasmine: "I don’t wanna be OCD!"
Mommy: "You’re organizing your silverware."
Daddy: "And don’t go, I’m obsessive, therefore I’m going to be an axe murderer. Just let me go buy an axe, and pick out my list of victims…"
Women At Work- Proceed With Caution;
Linda: (Who is smothered with the flu.) "Next people who come in, I’m going to say Sign a Visa Application or I’ll sneeze on you."
Judy: (Her 37-year-old son had come into the branch) "So, what do you think of my boy?"
Suzanne: "On a scale of one to ten, he’s definitely an eleven."
Judy: *laughs* "You should see him dressed up!"
Linda: "I’d rather see him dressed down. Really down…"
Travis: "I gave up my whore-ish ways."
Kayla: "I’ve been considering doing that too."
Travis: "No, they suit you."
Kayla: "You’re going to the city? I’m gonna want STORIES."
Jasmine: "I’m only going for Ten days! And I’m not interested in Friends with Benefits!"
Kayla: "Call it Dating, not friends with bens- you get further."
Kayla: "Guys go by sight, girls go by touch. You won’t like a guy till he touches you. Hoo BOY! *thoughtful pause* I love Jesus, yes I do…"
Kayla: "That’s why makeing out in cars is better, cause you might get seen, so clothes stay mostly on. Then when the headlights hit it’s all Whoosh Whoosh sitting upright and not touching. "Gosh, I think the heater is broken, anyone else find it hot in here?""