“You can’t kill an unarmed upside-down man!”

Runner! I’m feeling ill, but too awake to sleep, therefore stargate. We’ll see how this works out.

Oh yay, it’s Lorne! I heart Major Lorne.
Looks like BC. Fastinating how the universe looks like BC.
Heheh- oh not so funny. We have a dead Wraith? Very dead Wraith.
And in the tree, we have a sneakrative ON DRUGS Ford. He was so much cuter when he was cuddly.
LORNE, WHY ARE YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS. SMARTEN UP. WRITERS, DO RESEARCH. *army nerd anger*
*is over it*

Oh look, it’s mascara man! Who’s trying to say we should kill Ford. Sheppard is not impressed.

Heheh, I have missed McKay. Ranting about sunblock. ^_^
Sheppard thinks it’s suspicious that a lone Wraith is on this planet on foot. I think WE SHOULD BE SUSPICIOUS TOO. JUST CAUSE SHEPPARD IS COOL. (Of course, we shouldn’t be concerned about anything Mckay is concerned about, cause he only worries about boring things like Sunlight. Isn’t Science awesome?)
Lorne thinks he sees people move. Or things move. I think I’ll be concrned too.
OH BOY SOMETHING SCARY AROUND TEYLA AND SHEPPARD.
So we’ve got people in the shadows in two places.
And Teyla just got shot in the back by an energy beam.
Sheppard gets shot in the front.
This is just peachy.

OMG IS IT A WRAITH? A WRAITH HUNTING PEOPLES? OMG TEH FEAR TEH FEAR.

*cough*

Teyla and Sheppard tied back to back, and a man with dreadlocks. And a serious sunburn.
Oh wow, this is such a setup for a "Morning After the Night Before" line.
AND TEYLA"S HEAD IS POUNDING, EH? *resists*
Man oh MAN I wanna learn how to be so threatening as Ronan. I don’t think I have the height or the muscles to carry it off, but I could work on the hair! *aspires*
The caveman talks! He’s military. A long time ago, apperantly. Flashback Of Fire And Death.
This is wonderfully threatening. ^_^

Sheppard is getting annoyed. 😀
Hahahha, Teyla is trying some kind of Jedi Diplomacy. *nods head* We mean you no harm. We are only here searching for a friend. Also, these are not the droids you’re looking for.
Ahem.
Flashback…. SO it was Ford who killed the Wraith.
Mmmm, Ronon is so winningly threatening. 😀 I approve.
So Ronon is immune to Waiths?

And Ford walks in and takes McKay’s gun, and takes Lorne’s radio, and is creepy.
Wow, Ford is some kind of massively scary person. Such a freaky combination of Old!Ford and Drugged!Ford.
And the Wraith WOULD operate without anesthetic.
Dude, you killed a Wraith with a a STICK? Leet, man, leet.
Ford gets a look like a kid in a candy shop when he talks about the Wraith. So drugged.

So now both teams are hunting each other. No wonder Elizabeth looks tired.

Ford really freaks me out. I’m ready for him to be better now.

But yay, Beckett is on his way!
Teyla gets horrified about about Ronon’s scars, and Ronon gets shy.
I really love Beckett…
You know, when Ronon says "I won’t flinch" during surgery without anesthetic, I actually believe him!
Also, I doubt that muscle is that actually that jello-y. But whatever works, man.
Woah, McKay actually shot Ford. And in another part of town, Ronon is passed out and shirtless in Teyla’s lap!
McKay panics so WELL. It’s a thing of beauty.
OH bad, Wraith! And Ronon magically comes to and runs away?
Also, McKay is caught in a snare.
And Ford is REALLY freaking me out now.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Ooo, knife fight. Dude, did you just kick a knife out of the air?
Wraiths overhead!
Ronon looks at McKay like he’s gonna eat him. It’s rather disconcerting.

NO FORD, DON"T DO IT.
Too late, Crazy man has run away.

Ronon came back home with them! Yay!
And, his entire home world is dead. This is jolly.
 This is really a jolly episode. Really really. I LURVE it. *cough*

*They’ve found a dead Wraith*
Botanist: "I-I, I don’t understand!"
Lorne: "Well neither do I. All I know is, he didn’t do that to himself. Come on let’s go."

McKay: "95% of deadly is still deadly!"
Lorne: “Parrish said a day or two of exposure wasn’t going to kill us.”
McKay: “Yes, and Dr. Parrish has a Phd. in what? Right, botany!”

Lorne: “And by this mission, you mean, hunting down a skilled weapons expert hopped up on Wraith drugs in the pitch black of an alien planet?”
McKay: “Yes.”
Lorne: “Actually, I skipped that course in Major school.”

Lorne: "I was hoping that Lt. Ford would recognize a friendly face and just, turn himself in."
McKay: "Wait, you mean ME?"
Lorne: “Well, you were friends, weren’t you?”
McKay: “Oh, yeah. When we weren’t out on harrowing missions, we used to hang out together. I’d share my dreams of self-sustaining fusion with him and he, he would talk of how you could sever a man’s torso with a P-90.”

Sheppard: *Is tied up* *in a cave* *with a scary cave man(?)* *with dreadlocks* "You might wanna be careful where you point that thing, looks like you got the safety off." *scary man arms it threateningly*
Sheppard: "Okay. Be that way."

Sheppard: "Okay, I’ll go first. I’m Lt. Col. John Sheppard."
Teyla: "Teyla Imagen."
Scary Man: "Cornel."
Sheppard: "It’s my rank. Military designation?"
Scary Man: "Specialist Ronon Dex."
Sheppard: "That’s you?"
Ronon: "Name and rank."
Sheppard: "Military?"
Ronon: "I used to be. It was a long time ago."
Sheppard: "And now?"
Ronon: "Now I’m deciding whether to kill you and your friends."

McKay: “I’ve been keeping a running tally of my lifetime exposure to radiation. Cellphones, x-rays, plane rides, that whole unfortunate incident with the Jenii nuclear reactor, thing. My god, last week we flew dangerously close to the corona of a sun! As it is, I may have to forego reproducing.”
Lorne: “That’s funny. I was just thinking that might be wise.”

Ronon: “Stargate?”
Sheppard: “Stargate. Big circle thing.”

Ronon: “But why should I trust you?”
*pause*
Sheppard: “That’s a good question. Teyla, why should he trust us?”

(Sheppard and Teyla are tied up together)
Sheppard: “What the hell are you doing?”
Teyla: “Getting my hand free.”
Sheppard: “Doesn’t feel that way.”

Lorne: “Wow, You really must be some kind of a genius.”
McKay: “Well, as a matter of fact, I—Wait a minute, why would you say that now?”
Lorne: “Well, something has to have kept Colonel Sheppard from shooting you all this time.”

Weir: "Come on, pack up what you’ll need."
Beckett: "I don’t think an operating room and a bloody arm’ll fit through the gate."

Ford: "Oh, so that’s it? Ford’s lost, and Ford’s Crazy, and Ford can’t even remember a simple little thing!"
McKay: "I never said that! Although, the fact that you keep referring to yourself in the third person does indicate clinical disassociation…"

Sheppard: “All right, for what it’s worth, I’d never send you in there if I thought the guy was going to hurt you.”
Beckett: “Is that opinion based on some sort of evidence, or is it just a gut feeling that this gentleman isn’t dangerous?”
Sheppard: “I didn’t say he wasn’t dangerous. He could probably kill you in the blink of an eye. I don’t think he will.”
Beckett: "Oh thank you. I feel much better now."

Sheppard: "Ever heard of Androcles and the Lion?"
Beckett: "Oh Aye. And who are you in this retelling, the romans?"

Teyla: "Ronon, you need to trust us."
Ronon: "I do. That’s why he’s here and you’re still alive." *points gun at her*

McKay: *caught in a snare* "Heh heh, heh heh, I’m glad we can both laugh about this together. Heh heh. How about cutting me down now, eh?"
Ford: "No, I think I’m still gonna kill you."
McKay: "Wait, "still?" When did this escalate to killing?!"
Ford: "When you shot me!"
McKay: "It’s a flesh wound! I knew it wasn’t gonna kill you! You’re super Ford, remember?"

McKay: *really high and fast* "You can’t kill an unarmed upside down man!"

"You had him in your sights, you let him get away."
Sheppard: "I shot him once. Didn’t slow him down."
McKay: "I shot him too!"

"And now he’s in enemy hands, with information that could give us away."
Sheppard: "I don’t think he’s gonna give us away."
"Thank you so much for your assurance, Lt. Col. I’ll be sure to include your "feelings," in my report."

Ronon: “The guards are unnecessary.”
Sheppard: “Well, with your habit of taking people hostage and all…”
Ronon: "If I wanted to escape, they wouldn’t be able to stop me."

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