Quotes from August!

Week 6 of Clarion:

“You disappointed me, I thought she was going to be naked under the butterflies!”

Mark: “Don’t point at people!”
Jim B: “The point of the game is to point!”
Josh: “Jim has a point.”

“Be quiet or we’ll test you next.”
-Todd (to Brooke’s Ben.)

“I”ll try to be specific without being nonsensical.”

*ten seconds later*

“You might want to think about getting the skin-eating in there earlier.”

“I was unclear on the narrator’s stance regarding werewolves.”

“Everything’s an organ to me, sorry.”

“Tim will call you and be like ‘Send Lawyers, guns and money.'”

“Part of what makes Jake’s titles so strong is that they make no sense.”

Bolander: “I want to eat the fucking prose in this with a spoon.”
Chris: “You can’t eat it, it’s mine. I’m eating it.”

“You wrote a story about a man who drowns a fish. Good job.”

Josh: “I think we can all agree that Harry’s a little koi.”
Everyone: “Errrrrrr.”

“There’s this stinking hole in his neck and it births this horrible squawking thing out of it- it’s horrible! *pause* This is why I’ll never be a mother.”

“Next to my fears of heights, empty campuses, Chinese domination and tuberculosis–libraries at night. Well done.”
-Andy, to Todd

“The names of my people are all unpronounceable and weird.”

*reads a line of description*
“Ah. If you weren’t a boy I’d kiss you. I might kiss you anyways.”
-Kessel, to Josh.

“That’s the noise I use for my alarm clock. That was horrifying.”

“Thank Christ you have turned in a story that is just very very very good, and not terrifyingly polished. Makes me think you may actually be mortal.”
Josh, to Bolander

“The class of Clarion 2011 had better be a courteous class or I’ll kill you.”

“I was a bunny girl at Kirkegard’s pool party– completely lost.”

“I’m going to present a paper on the What The Fuck principle next year.”

“Self-loathing is not a good career path.  Cut yourself some fucking slack.”  ~Kessel

“Butterscotch–it’s delicious.”  ~Josh

“The lagrange point between Oscar Wilde and Lovecraft.”  ~Worrad, describing his own aesthetic

“I want to put all your words into a pot and boil them.”  ~Todd

“In 900 words you managed to make my head hurt with time travel.  Well done.”  ~Josh

“Lost. I was caught up in that show in a way that made me hate myself.”  ~Kessel

“We’re like marmosets trying to understand Goethe.”  ~Worrad

“Excellent first draft, what a giraffe, covered in nanobots.”  ~Worrad

“Mobius FUCK.”  ~Brooke Bolander

“The narrator doesn’t have a canine in this fight.”  ~Josh

Re: descriptions of the moon in fiction.  “It has phases, motherfuckers.  Drives me fucking crazy.  You can’t stick the moon anywhere you want.  I fucking hate ornamental moons.”  ~Kessel

“[As a writer putting personal stories out there] you run the risk of being the guy running down the street with no pants who doesn’t know it. So you have to be confident in what’s under your pants.” -Kessel

“It’s a bisexual polygamist after a monogamous heterosexual couple- it’s a new kind of love triangle!.” -Worrad

“Everyone’s novel is too long.” -Kij

“Don’t whine about how you can’t write. Just fuckin’ write.” -Kessel

“A paragraph of boring exposition is better than a dumb scene.” -Kij

“If this is ‘sex so good it blows your mind’ amnesia, I will be very sad because I don’t want that.” -Jasmine

“Crow-like Huckleberry Finns in suit-trouser bottoms.” -Worrad (about “Peter Loves Wendy In Neverland” and the crow-winged Peters)

“When your language is under control and it’s not doing appalling things, it’s amazing.” -Russell

“I haven’t seen any anime about that. I *live* my life.” -Worrad, making friends on the last crit

“It’s not that Burger King is salvation, but it’s reality.” -Kessel


Courtney: My computer has a lofty distain for electricity.

*talking about other people putting up ultrasound pictures on facebook*
“No! I don’t want other people looking inside my womb!”

11:49:32 AM Stephanie Hough: i want ot watch social network
11:50:05 AM Medusa: only once a day, Stephanie
11:50:07 AM Medusa: only once a day
11:50:08 AM Stephanie Hough: yes a’am
11:50:13 AM Medusa: otherwise you may develop an addiction
11:50:15 AM Stephanie Hough: well i haven’t watched it today yet
11:50:16 AM Stephanie Hough: LOL


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