Nothing has happened in MY life. Which is why I haven’t blogged for a whopping 15 days. I”M ON A NON-BLOGGING STREAK! KEEP IT GOING.. Oh. I just broke it.
Oh, I bet you don’t hate me too much for breaking it. Right? Right? That’s right, you’re merciful, beautiful human beings. And if you’re not human, that’s all right, I’m not intolerant. I tolerate everyone. Except injustice.
Yes, that was a marvellous and marvellously subtle quote from Ryan Cook
, the grind-core metal screamer turned Country Artist. He’s hilarious when not singing, you should look him up. *nods* Yes, though I am feeling significantly more friendly towards Country then I used to, I’m still only on the fringes of the the Genre. Sugarland? Please, Please
, stop WHINING at me. Thank you.
And some people are reading that last paragragh again, trying to winnow out some logic. They will fail, of course, but it’s a good hope. Everyone would have some abitions in life. It builds character!
Whew, it looks like the blogging portion of my brain is beside its self and gibbering with joy at finally being let out. I should put the rest of this post into bullet points to scare it into coherency.
1.) Country music.
-Yes, I did say that I was feeling more friendly towards the genre.
-Why, you ask?
-I will tell you.
> Taylor Swift
~*hums Breathe and You Belong With Me.*
~Also, this is a chance to be anti-Kanye! WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?!!?!?!?!?!????
>Also, the weather channel.
~Why the weather channel, you ask?
~Oh, I will tell you.
} My wicket at work is DIRECTLY in front of the television.
} Said television, for eight months, played the Weather Channel.
} Have you heard those well-dressed and well-heeled persons try to hide
their glee at disasters, manufacture doom and gloom to talk about, and
recycle the same clip every twenty minutes all day- for eight months?
+ Yes? Then you know my pain
+ No? THEN COUNT YOUR BLESSED BLESSINGS.
} When the television was changed to CMT, I counted my blessings and
enjoyed the pretty music, trucks, and hair on display.
+ Seriously, there was a lot of pretty hair.
>Therefore I don’t hate the genre so much.
-It snowed yesterday, and this morning.
-I went for a walk in steel toed boots, and then dried out my pant legs by the fire and
drank hot chocolate for five hours.
-This is an excellent way to spend the day.
-You should all try it.
-*nods at you*
3.) My Mother is hardcore.
-If I haven’t mentioned this before, shame on me. She really is wonderful, and spectacularly multi-talented.
-She also can walk around half the day with splinters driven up under her nails, unconcerned.
>Yes, you read that correctly.
>Splinters, under her fingernails.
~Well, one fingernail.
>She was putting the salt away in the kitchen, and accidentally picked up a splinter.
~This splinter was easily two centimetres long.
} That’s PAST the nail bed, people.
~And then I couldn’t pull it out with my dinky tweezers.
~So I went to work.
~And Mommy did an afternoon’s work around the house.
} *takes a moment to hyperventilate over my mother’s pain tolerance
~She said when I got back, that “Heh, maybe we can get it out with hot wax?”
} (Think about this for a second, people. Hot wax? Splinters up under
fingernails? Anyone else seeing a disturbing trend here? A certain flavour?
Yes? No? Next we break out the boiling oil to make it slip out really easily?)
~Daddy pulled it out in the evening.
~And Mommy continued to be unconcerned, beyond mentioning that it was funny,
she was having phantom pain all the way up to her elbow before it was taken out.
-HARDCORE, I tell you, people. My mother is EXEMPLARY.
-And now I’m more concerned when she says that childbirth isn’t really that bad…