Week 6 of Clarion:
“You disappointed me, I thought she was going to be naked under the butterflies!”
Mark: “Don’t point at people!”
Jim B: “The point of the game is to point!”
Josh: “Jim has a point.”
“Be quiet or we’ll test you next.”
-Todd (to Brooke’s Ben.)
(insightful analysis) …I want to lick your brain.
Parenthetically, if I told my friends I wasn’t the first to write a story with twenty four foxes in it, they’d never believe me.
I am so slack~jawed with wonder an entire grizzly bear could just climb in there.
“My hovercraft is full of eels!”
“I gave it nine fucks out of ten, pretty much.”
“Get these motherfucking faeries off this motherfucking plane.”
It’s a bit like being in a sensory deprivation tank with Oscar Wilde, really.
I mean, let’s really get this unicorn horn on the table.
How about this: a new genre, right? Swords and Suburbia.
Kemendraugh: people are dumb
Kemendraugh: cleanse them with fire
Bahnree: why is it so dark in here
Bahnree: hey look light-switches
Bahnree: they are made for this very situaysh!
I think at this point it would be better to introduce these quotes with no explanation. Because I can’t explain them. 😀
PCB: You bring joy and light and locusts and disease to my life, have I ever told you?
Bahnree: i love it when you shout "zombie lovers" in all caps
Bahnree: oh my gosh my brain, today, is just pre-emptively jumping into the gutter
Bahnree: regardless of what I’m saying
Bahnree: and then i’m like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GUTTER? HOW ARE YOU MAKING THAT DIRTY?"
Bahnree: and my brain just whimpers and rolls in manure-juice
Bahnree: *feels unwell*
Bahnree: music video guys are like abstract art: mesmerizing and bearing no relation to real life
Snazel: I hear you were abusing my sister with your untruths
PCB: oh DON’T PLAY WITH THAT
PCB: that’s my BRAIN
PCB: you CAN’T HAVE IT
PCB: constant mindrape makes my stem sore
PCB: I only lie to you, y’know
PCB: I’m terribly mean to little girls
PCB: and I have moodswings with Kemendraugh
PCB: but I only lie to you
PCB: there’s no need to be mean
Snazel: there isn’t?
Snazel: I’m sorry
Snazel: *is sorry*
Snazel: *cries on your neck in remorse*
PCB: y’know who is just obscenely weird?
Snazel: Which one?
Snazel: what’s he doing now?
PCB: the male one
PCB: nothing, just
PCB: he’s so weird
Snazel: I met him in bed
Snazel: drinking a beer
PCB: whuuuuuuuh k
Snazel: it would have been more memorable if it wasn’t 2am at the time
PCB: he doesn’t, come across as incredibly weird in person
PCB: he is
PCB: his fb declares it
Snazel: the one about corn?
PCB: ALL OF IT
PCB: the raps about Aquinas and crack
PCB: the weirdass profile pictures
PCB: the mindf*** fb notes
Snazel: you want to grow up to be him, don’t you
PCB: oh, and all the techno links
PCB: that is a kind of weird… gleh
PCB: that kind of weird is almost too much for me
Snazel: so you want to MARRY him
Snazel: that’s okay
Snazel: it’s legal!
Snazel: and you can mindf*** JP
PCB: do you hate me?
PCB: do you hate me with a burning passion that rivals that of a thousand suns inside a thousand hells inside a thousand cafeteria microwaves?
PCB: because that’s what your last four sentences would seem to indicate
PCB: I can’t imagine why else you would want to put me through such mental anguish as I am trying not to experience right now
Snazel: this stupid cursed story
PCB: yo dawg
PCB: we herd you like stories
PCB: SO WE MADE YOU WRITE A SHORT STORY BEFORE NANOWRIMO STARTS LIKE A f***ING ASSWIPE
Snazel: so we gave you a cursed story so you can curse while you story
PCB: so we put some stories in your stories so you can curse while you curse
Snazel: I bought you a present
Snazel: you like pink, right?
PCB: I LUUUUUUURVE pink
PCB: is it a girl?
PCB: did you get me a GIRL?
PCB: did you get me TWO girls
PCB: yo dawg
PCB:we herd you like innuendo
PCB: so we put a double-entendre in your double-entendre
PCB: so you can think dirty while u think dirty
PCB: if u know what I mean.
Bahnree:Burlesque has Cam Gigandet as a hot bartender
Bahnree: which, sadly, makes me want to see it
Snazel: You’re sold
Bahnree: I’m just throwing this out there
Snazel: well, I want to OH IT"S MIDNIGHT
Bahnree: i just hurt my throat
Snazel: I guess we’ll never know what I want
Snazel: How did you hurt your throat?
Snazel:tell me everything
Bahnree: "I want to" is best interrupted by observing that it’s LATE AT NIGHT
Bahnree: from laughing
Neldorh: anyways back I go to writing
Snazel: God Bless
Snazel: oh fb, why you give me cute boys singing fun songs
Snazel: which are immoral
Snazel: and gay
Neldor: ….go back to writing Snazel
Bahnree: did you get my email about visiting me? (I don’t live in a brothel btw)
Bahnree: LOL I LOVE YOUR BEFORE PICTURE
Snazel: I swear we were trying to get a good picture
Snazel: it was just REALLY HARD
Bahnree: Great photos
Bahnree: yeah, you just look so, "Ok. I am getting my hair cut. Ok. I am being photographed. Let us move on."
Bahnree: the essence of apathy
Bahnree: that’s what i would call that photo
Bahnree: plus you’re so cute ^___^
Bahnree: dude so true
Bahnree: no one believes in fridays
Bahnree: you go girl
Bahnree: do you ever randomly switch
Bahnree: from 3rd person to 1st, without even noticing until a page later? O.o
Snazel: I go from 3rd to 2nd
Snazel: and then to 1st
Snazel: and then basically into all caps rant
Snazel: and then back into 3rd
Bahnree: you are so amazing!
Snazel: and then I eat chocolate
Snazel: it’s a living’
Bahnree: wow, i need chocolate
Snazel: now the river is a character
Snazel: with the personalisty of a fruit fly on acid
kemendraugh: an excellent way to boost words!
Snazel: MORE CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Rosemary Elizabeth: Just woke up from a dream with too many huge frogs. Gotta watch less planet earth.
James Arsenault: obviously you need to watch MORE planet earth
Snazel: *Prince James is now Catholic*
Zack C: the f***?*
Snazel: *blames you*
Zack C: which number was he?
Snazel: the fifth
Zack C: ah
Snazel: wait, what?
Zack C: little chance of him ascending then, anyway
Zack C: you can’t be the monarch if you’re Catholic, no?
Snazel: this is the FUTURE
Zack C: uh whuh
Snazel: he’s dating a girl from india, who’s baptist
Snazel: James in my BOOK
Zack C: I don’t underst- ohhhh
PCB: one of the required texts for my lit course is "The Vagina Monologues"
PCB: I think
PCB: I’m switching
Snazel: I fear for my sanity
Kemendraugh: don’t fear for what’s already gone!
Bahnree: i hate purple bars
Bahnree: *glares at them*
Snazel: you know what is hard
Snazel: SO HARD
Snazel: also, yes spurpalb bars are loose
Bahnree: i am so saving this conversation
Bahnree: and showing it to you later