Decision Making: THE NEXT LEVEL

So I HAVE made decisions about my life in my past. You know, the normal stuff, like “should I cut my hair,” and “should I read that book,” and also bigger things, like “should I go to this college,” and “should I move home after college.” Decisions are not entirely foreign to me.

BUT! I realized today that all of the “Big Decisions,” I’ve made in the past have been Yes or No type things. Do I stay or do I go now…. *sings*

Ah-hem. *cough*

Anyhow. Yes. Decision making being Y/N! I’m pretty cool with that, and making the decision and moving on. Only now, I’m faced with a decision that’s all “oh, pick one of these three options with two mixed variables and several possible outcomes with three funding choices- or not.”

SO MANY OPTIONS. AUUUUUUUUUUGH.

I could go to St FX, or STU, or even MUN, if they accept me. And I could start in January, or September. And I could go on loans, if I could get them, or I could mainly work my way through. And I could study anything in the arts faculty. And today MUN made things MUCH harder, by DARING to have interesting classes I wanna take. So now decisions are hard again. *sulks*

OR I could just give it all up and hitch-hike across Europe! Not gonna like, option Europe is looking pretty good.

Thank you for tuning in. This has been your episode of Jasmine Angsts. Tune in next time to hear Jasmine talk about housing woes. Because woe is me, I’m so woe, and I have woes.

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"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

I found this video today, and it delights me. It reminded me how the world, and how the world is constructed, is truly amazing. I’m pretty sure that the people quoted did not mean it in a theistic way, but I’m DIFFERENT, okay? 😀

Quotes from Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking, auto-tuned and toyed with.
(Also, you can do amazing things with language and the description of the world, eh?)

Also, I went to the library for a write-in! This time the internet kicked me off, so I got almost a thousand words written. Which is a thousand words more than I had yesterday! 😀

Additionally, St Thomas gave me the gift of not accepting my credits, so that they are are not the clear leader in the university search. So now I get to play CHOOSE THE SCHOOL this weekend, which is a game we all love to play. ^_^

I hope your day was full of things to be happy about!

State of the me: University updates

SO. I’m going to school. At least that’s the plan. But you see, going to good universities in other provinces has a nasty habit of costing money. So right now my status is setting out on the great traditional money hunt. (Or panicking over the money hunt, but shush, don’t burst my bubble.)

In the hunt, I’ve found these options, which I am now weighing and panicking over. As one does.

Scholarships/Endowments: Sometimes people give you money to go to school!

  • Pros: You don’t have to give the money back! w00t!
  • Cons: You have to have things like grades and leadership ability and extra-curricular things to show them, or fiscal need. I have the fiscal need, but not so much the others. Plus, they’re on the September-start calendar, which means I can’t get them before January. Eeshh.
  • Verdict: Look into it, but don’t expect lots of free money.

Government Loans: Sometimes the government will lend you money to go to school!

  • Pros: It’s a well-established process. And there’s money on the other end. 
  • Cons: Just- it’s the government. They have a habit of taking the money away. Plus they make you jump through hoops a lot. As I’ve technically been working part-time for the past two years. I’m not even sure if I’m eligible.
  • Verdict: Only one way to find out if I’m eligible. 

Bank Loan: The banks LOVE to lend you money.

  • Pros: It builds your credit, you only pay interest on the part you use, and it’s definitely available. 
  • Cons: I’m not sure if I have enough credit for one on my own, I may need a counter-signatory. 
  • Verdict: A solid option. But try for free money first

Work: I can make the darn money myself first, then start in September. Like an effing ADULT.

  • Pros: No debt! Pride and satisfaction!
  • Cons: I wouldn’t be able to start for another 10 months. The fact that this makes me want to swear a lot, probably isn’t a great sign. Plus I’m not sure if it would be at ALL good for my mental health.
  • Verdict: If all other options fall through, God wants me to do this. Like an ADULT. And it’s a good option. I just don’t like it.

Military: The military will pay you to go to school! And pay for your school! And give you a job after!

  • Pros: I would get in shape. I would learn when and how to use deadly weapons. I would learn when and how not to cry. (Always assuming I survive basic training, and they want me.) I would have a job. I would learn French. I would have SO MUCH writing research. And yes, given that I always seem to want to write military-related stories, and I’m very nervous about botching that, research is something I care about. I’d have to learn leadership skills, like how not to verbally abuse people you’re in charge of, how to stay in charge while letting people who actually know what they’re talking about talk, and how to not get everyone killed. Which are great things to know, I’m not gonna lie.
  • Cons: They might want me to go to RMC instead of St. Thomas. I’d get in shape. Basically it’s not a funding choice so much as a life move, and I’m not sure if I want this move. I’d have to give up writing while learning french, deadly weapons, how not to die while running, and other life skills. I’m really not sure if I can make it. It’s a seven year commitment, so I’d be 30 when I was out. 
  • Verdict: Undecided. Maybe people give me money without my life, first?

Publish a short story/Novel: Sometimes people give you MONEY for writing!

  • Pros: OMG PUBLISHED? EEEEEEEEEE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!
  • Cons: I don’t have anything ready to publish. It needs more work. Serious work. And I’ve never heard anyone in the business speak of publishing as a very “fast money” type option.
  • Verdict: Who am I kidding, I’m going for this anyhow.
So yes, that’s the state of the me. ^_^

"I have no special skills. I am only passionately curious."

I’ve been looking at going back to university. And y’know, it looks interesting and all, but I’ve written if off for years simply because it’s so expensive. That and I already had education debts. But I’m a.) finally paying off my debts as of two weeks from now, and b.) feeling trapped in a small town. So I’m looking again at getting OUT of here, and since I am passionately curious about many things, university seems a logical avenue to look into.

But I have to MOVE away, which means rent and food costs. Which means, with tuition and maybe buying two books or going to the theatre once a year, I’m looking at about 20 thousand dollars in living and school expenses for most schools.

A year.

I didn’t make that much last year, all year! And I was working in a bank!

And since I and my family am not high income by the standards of anyone who lives in the Western World, I have to do it all on loans.

Which means in four years, I’m taking on about 80 thousand dollars in loans.

I HATE debts. They sap the joy from my soul, and the work I need to take to pay them off does the same. And it’ll take YEARS to pay them off. Which I’m taking on to be frivolous and play around in books, with the ridiculous idea that I’m going to get a scholarship or teaching position out of it at the end. If I even LIKE teaching.

Cue despair?