Tag Archives for Expendable

In which I prove one more time that I am a strange one.

So I was in the mall today, thinking about mobility and identity and relationships, and questions of trust. As one does? (There were people I didn’t know in the food court and they looked at me, because while in a mall I walk at a speed slightly above “speed walk” but and only just below “run.” And this is always inspiring to think about relationships. Don’t ask questions.)

Anyways, this brought two characters of mine to mind. They’re from a story I mentioned a few times, Expendables (I’ve ranted about the writing of this just a FEW times), and when I ended off the story they had just gotten together into the beginnings of a romantical relationship.

Only it was just the VERY beginning, and one character has trust issues out the ying-yang and identity issues right now because she’s a dancer and a fighter who’s just put herself in a wheelchair, and the other character is someone who sleeps around who’s just committed to a monogamous relationship and also had this promotion which means he’s in a position of authority, and they both have a LOT of baggage. Anyhow, I was thinking about them, and how it would just be really fun to explore their relationship, and how they learn to work together and contrast and compliment each other. (I’m sure they’ll stay together, I wrote them that way after all. :D)

And then I thought- oh wait, I’ve never had a relationship! I can’t write one, I don’t know how they work!

And then I thought- I should get in a relationship so I can write that story, cause it would be so excellent.

It took about five minutes before I realized that was not the usual way of deciding to commit to someone, and people usually have a counterpart in mind when they make this decision.

I still think it’s a good idea though.

In which I blog to avoid writing.

I am not sure that I’ve mentioned this, but I’m writing Karma Police in five POV*s. Why, you ask? Because I’m crazy. DUH. *cough* Anyhow, yes, each of my five MC^s are taking turns telling you what is REALLY going on. (I also took a brief jaunt into letting Ewan’s mom talk, but that’s only because she’s faded and hopeful and brutally honest, and I heart her. *cough*)

ANYHOW. This is rather different for me. I’ve written three other stories before, and DNL, seriously, I had no idea what I was doing. I don’t even know what I did. It was fun, but yeah. Plot? I LAUGH in the face of plot. And then there was Merchant’s Daughter, which was only slightly better, and by the end of it I was sticking inside Adelheid’s head, come what may including passing out in the middle of important scenes. (Easy way to end a scene? Noooo, I’m sure I wasn’t thinking of that.)
Then there was Expendables. Oh, Expendables. My poor, deformed, mortally ill child. You need so much surgery… I don’t even know what I was doing at first. It was Nano, okay? Then I wrote a serious portion of the story during a deep funk/exploring the grieving process (it’s fun!) By the end of it the thing had been riding me so long it was just like opening a vein and letting the story gush onto the page. Messily. And there was pain. Characters talked on top of each other, so I just wrote it that way. I changed POV* mid scene- mid PARAGRAPH. I don’t even know what I was doing. SO MUCH SURGERY.
And now I have Karma Police! Which I am trying to keep under control.
Never mind that I avoided one bit lump of write-many-many-many-words-on-me-noew-plz by throwing in a handy dose of amnesia, and avoided another scene that wanted to turn into five mini-adventures by, uh, wait, I didn’t avoid that, did I? My bad. *cough* Aren’t Zeppelins shiny? And TRAINS. And suspenders. Heheh. Suspenders.
*drifts off into a trance, staring at suspenders*
So yes. *cough* Control. I’m trying to keep control.
I even have an outline, isn’t it shiny?

Yes. I’m colour coding POVs. So I can keep track of when someone new needs to talk. ^_^ And anything indented means it’s a flashback.
Am I INSANE?
Er, yes, clearly. SO clearly.
But yes. I’m really enjoying the comparison between POVs, though you probably won’t. *evil chuckle* However, it does mean that when I do finish a scene, it’s not easy to just DIVE into the next one, because most of the time the next one is inside someone else’s head. So I have to eat some chocolate, and listen to appropriate music, and braid my hair- er, well, maybe not, but it’s HARD, okay? *whine whine whine*
I really should to traumatize Nanami now. KThnxBai
Footnotes: (Because my little sister mentioned she might be reading this now.)
*POV – Point Of View
^MC – Main Character

After Action, Expendables

So I couldn’t resist doing a Wordle of my finished draft. IS THAT A CRIME?

Oh?
Well, who cares what you think anyhow?
*cough*
Anyhow. I’m including this “reaction chat” from Bahnree, cause it makes me smile inside, and also I think it sums up my novel pretty well. “What, he died? When did this happen? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME LAUGH AT DYING CHILDREN?!?” Ahem. And I’m feeling nostalgic for my charas, who I tortured for so long. Yeah. *is lame*

9:20:13 PM Bahnree: i replied and am now reading
9:24:18 PM Bahnree: reading
9:24:20 PM Bahnree: reading
9:24:28 PM Bahnree: giggles madly
9:24:42 PM Bahnree: whahhattt?
9:25:30 PM Bahnree: AHHHHHHHHHH SHRAPNEL
9:26:34 PM Bahnree: right
9:28:31 PM Bahnree: what the heckkkkkkk
…
9:30:34 PM Bahnree: wow you make me cry
9:30:44 PM Bahnree: you also make me laugh
9:30:49 PM Bahnree: when you use Obama as profanity
9:32:01 PM Bahnree: this is really disturbing
…

9:40:52 PM Bahnree: rofl
9:40:58 PM Bahnree: i can’t believe i’m laughing
9:41:03 PM Bahnree: it’s like laugh, cry, laugh, cry
9:41:12 PM Bahnree: which is appropriate, seeing as it’s you
9:44:47 PM Bahnree: bites back a laugh
9:44:50 PM Bahnree: I AM NOT LAUGHING
9:44:51 PM Bahnree: ahem
9:47:21 PM Bahnree: Wait, Tenish died?????
9:47:45 PM Bahnree: i think i missed that
…
9:51:15 PM Bahnree: LOL
9:51:15 PM Bahnree: ahem
9:51:25 PM Bahnree: i refuse to laugh, i forgot
…
10:01:22 PM Bahnree: lolz
10:01:25 PM Bahnree: AGH ANOTHER LAUGH
10:01:29 PM Bahnree: this is so unfunny
10:01:33 PM Bahnree: i’ve never read anything so unfunny
10:03:34 PM Bahnree: I love the part when jennet runs in and yells at petria and appel, and runs out, and they’re actually being wholesome for once
10:03:41 PM Bahnree: but i refuse to laugh virtuous
…
10:06:32 PM Bahnree: you are an evil person

AND NOW IT”S TIME FOR A NEW PROJECT.

TGIO, Nano 08


It’s done.

I’m done.
This weight on my back for the last eight months is gone? *doesn’t know how to deal with this strange lightness*
Also, VARISH IS SAFE.
MAWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Ahem.
MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
*slaps self*
Okay, sleep is clearly in order. But first, some stats! *cheerful smile*
Today
  • Word Count: 1608
  • Scenes: 3
Since Nov. 1 08
  • Word count: 284,232
  • Days: 293
  • Word Count Per Day: 970
Since Bahnree’s Death Threats
  • Word Count: 78,432
  • Days : 44 (I think?)
  • Word Count Per Day: 1,783
*goes off to eat watermelon and laugh madly*

"Lay me down in sheets of linen/If you please don’t stay all night/Come with me we’ll dance such a wedding/Away to the left and around/To the right"

This is my 200th post. Go me. All are very profound, I’m sure.

Word Count: 5,488
Scenes: 6
My hands hurt. However, I can now say with no little degree of triumph, that all the MAIN scenes are done. *not thinking about the plot holes and savage lack of quality, nope* Now I just have to deal with one last trauma for Jennet and write the stuff that deals with the side charas, and fills in some gaping “what just happened?” holes. Piece of cake.
^_^
Did I mentioned that we had Kemendraugh’s itinerary wrong, and she’s not back till the 20th? Yep. So that’s why my lack of panic and/or open triumph. I still am honour bound (HA) to fix some of the easy issues before she gets back.
My head hurts too. Sleep, you are so my friend.

Drugs, a girl’s best friend? Pros and Cons, discuss.

Word count: 3,129

Scenes: 3
I made Kael cry. o.O And I finally got inspired right after I started eating Midol. No, drugs don’t help the writing AT ALL. *cough*
Um, that’s all. I want to keep writing, but I’m suppose to be awake in six hours. So I should get on getting to sleep. *waves* *runs off*
EDIT: 1,586 words, an hour and a half and a scene later, I guess I really SHOULD go to sleep? ^_^

"Gonna drive till I drop/till the tires turn to metal/gonna sleep when I’m dead/gonna laugh like the devil…"

Word Count: 1021

Scenes: 2
I think I maybe filled in some holes. Or maybe I just muddled it up more. It’s kinda unclear. Tomorrow, we get treason! Go me! *throws shoes*
Oh wait, that was the wrong projectile. Oh well. I’ll fix it in revision. ^_^
Also, Where No One Knows Me, by Jann Arden, is a good song. *nods*

"And everybody was for fighting/wouldn’t wanna waste a thing/ cold cold water bring me round…"

Free Jazz:
I am
listening
to
Emo
music
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENE, THAT IT DRIVES ME TO THIS?
Well, aside from the fact that everybody dies, and Kael goes crazy and kills herslf
…
I think I’ve identified the source of the problem.

So it’s done. This scene is totally on drugs, but some kind of a pattern for the rewrite is down in text. I need to back this up… *runs away briefly*

I have to say though, this scene was insanely hard to write. It was the one that sparked this story for me in the first place, only by now all the characters are quite different, as well as the tech and what I have of plot. So I have this really vivid picture in my head, that doesn’t WORK, so I have to keep shooing it away. Also, well, I’m writing from inside Kael’s head. When you catch yourself thinking ~this would just make more sense if I was on drugs, then I could get the real feel of it~ this should be a sign to you that you have issues. I’ve only been trying to write it since Monday? *sigh* I can also attribute the hard-ness of the scene to the fact that I’m doing my traditional reaction to a Big Scene, and loosing interest, as well as doing my traditional reaction to The End Is In Sight, and saying I’m so close that it hardly matters, I can write that tomorrow. All very healthful and good for me. And my story.
HOWEVER.
And this is a big however. This scene OFFICIALLY marks the end of Kael’s trauma. Everything from here out for her is good, even when it makes her cry. (Especially when it makes her cry.) Jennet is still going to be traumatized just a little, but I promise it’s for the best! You get to be Kick-Ass, Jennet! Isn’t that what you want?
I’ll go sleep now. Tomorrow Dulamon gets to be awesome, and we make Kael cry! *happy smile*

Excerpt:

You Noticed!

"You can’t find your way home, but you know my music. It evens out."

Wordcount: 621

Scenes: 1 and a bit?
I went back to fix a bunch of stuff today, which accounts for the small word count. Well, that and the visits, and the park, and meeting the band, and eating, and traveling… *cough* What I did write makes me happy though, which in turn makes me happy in a broader sense. 😛 And I think I might actually be managing to explain the madness that is my mind, and support certain issues, which FILLS ME WITH HOPE.
Not that I need hope.
Noooooooooooooooooo. No need AT ALL.
In other hopeful (?) news, I have ten scenes to write in eight days. GO ME. ahem. (But one of them might involve Haggerty and a table, (which is easy to write,) we’ll see.)